Well the weekend went pretty good. Allie got her discipline Friday night as expected. I decided to give her 30 + 30 for not being such a brat during the week. She realizes what she did was wrong and I have noticed that she did start a list on the refridge. Slowly but surely she is getting the hang of what I expect.
Which leaves me in a dilemma. This weekend was an up and down weekend for myself. Friday night I was fine. Saturday morning however was the start of the downward spiral. I gave Allie her maintenance Saturday morning. I made sure to reinforce that I wouldn't tolerate her being a couch potato. We left around 10 am to get groceries and my stomach started to hurt and I was becoming more sick to my stomach. By the time we came back home I was not feeling very well. I told Allie that I was going in to lay down for awhile. She then took advantage and decided to become a couch potato the rest of the day. Now I do understand that she did not feel good herself and nothing was accomplished the rest of Saturday.
Sunday I was feeling better and told Allie that all of her housework plus her extras had to be done by 8 pm.. She asked even laundry and I told her that even laundry had to be completely done. I even helped her until 1 pm with some of the housework. I was feeling well enough to go out to the shop for the rest of the day to work. I was finishing up making a jig to use with the table saw when I was called in for supper. When I got in the house, I looked to see that it was 7 pm. I walked the dog and then we sat down to a late dinner. I went outback to our laundry room after dinner to find 6 loads of laundry that needed to be folded and put away. At the point I found them it was 7:45 pm.
Which leaves me to think if I should punish her for not having her housework done. I did tell her that everything had to be done by 8 and that she blew off Saturday to get anything started. On the other hand, I was sick and she didn't feel good herself Saturday.
So I am leaving it up to you, the readers, if I should punish her for this weekend. Please leave comments for or against it and on Saturday night I will read them all and decide from all that respond if she will get punished.
Alex
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11 comments:
Hi Alex,
I'm new to commenting on blogs but I enjoy your site and a few others. I have a question. Why do you feel the need to micromanage her time like that? It appeared that she was working hard and maybe it would have gotten done before she went to bed. It sounds as if you both work well together but she might have needed to take her time. She works, takes care of a house and child and you do as well. Being a couch potatoe every now and again seemd warrented. Don't you think? I'm not trying to be opiniated but I thought she did a great job accomplishing all you had for her to do. I hope you're feeling better with your stomach.
Kathy :)
I might not be the best person to ask (since I don't get punishment spankings), but my take would be 'NO'.
If she wasn't feeling well herself, then resting is the best thing to prevent her getting even more ill.
If she's done all she can in one day, I don't see how a punishment is warranted.
Punishing someone for feeling sick hardly seems fair. Particularly when you've spent the day resting yourself - for the same reason
Actually I am not micromanaging her time. I work 6 days a week as well as having to keep up my end of housework and yardwork. This past weekend was a nice 3 day weekend for me for a change. I know she works hard but she did break the rules. Hence my dilemma, I know that a relaxing weekend is due once in awhile but she was given a time frame. Alex
Alex,
I'm sorry if I offended. I'm just not used to living within a house of rules. Our lives here revolve around working together. I get punished when I cross a line of civility or my moods get the better of me. My HOH never puts a time line or a list of things for me to do. He knows I get things done because I'm a go getter. But he also knows if I want to slack off I will and he has no problem with that. I think that's why there are no given rules other than that of respect. So again I didn't mean to step on any toes here.
Kathy :)
No toes stepped on Kathy. Ours is based on a set of rules. I know that I seem strict but it has to be for now. Her and I are on the same page as far as rules go. Actually it works better for both of us as I find that I am needling her less about stuff and yet things are getting done faster. She is trying real hard to please me and not disappoint me. Which I even have to say "good job honey, keep up the good work". Alex
Well Alex I'm always for what works is what you should keep at. You both do seem to have a great relationship. I do enjoy reading your blog because it is so real. I hope I'm welcome to comment even if my opinion is that of disagreeing...hehe!!! I will say that if it is a rule then you need to stick to the punishment you doled out in the beginning. Even if you have to wait till you're feeling better. If that keeps your relationship strong then don't mess with it when you feel under the weather. Good things come to those that wait. Even punishment. Take care.
Kathy :)
Hello, Alex:
I just came across your blog, and I'll definitely be back to read some more.
~~I saw you were asking about HNT at another blog (wink*)btw..here's where you'll find more info on this. FYI, and happy day:
(this isn't spam.)~~LOL! :)
http://osbasso.blogspot.com/
I see you!bottomsUp!
Cheers!
Hmmm...that is really a tough one. I'm trying to put myself in Allie's place. She did get 6 loads of laundry done--that ROCKS! I totally have about 6 baskets full of clean laundry myself, and I have asked John to hold me accountable for getting it put away and not letting it pile up (it was my idea). I'm a single mom, so it really is my responsibility to keep up the house, but when I am no longer a single mom I will need Him to contribute to the running of the house (especially if I'm working too).
So, I'm assuming that you do contribute to the cooking, grocery shopping, dish-doing, laundry, vacuuming, dusting, etc around the house. I'm assuming that you encourage her when she does a good job. I'm assuming that you both agree to the rules given and that you both like it that way. If all of that is true then lil Miss Allie deserves a spanking...sorry, Allie :)
If all of those things aren't true, then maybe she should be spanked (discipline-like, not punishment) for breaking the rules, but some talking/listening could be done to make sure Allie is content with the rules and structure you have given her.
My hesitation to say "yes, she deserves it" comes from my past and the fact I was expected to do everything myself and got no help or positive reinforcement from my partner (NOT that you are like that, though)! It broke me to feel like I would never meet his expectations and that nothing I did was ever good enough for him.
I'm NOT saying you guys are like that at all...please don't take it personally! It's just MY baggage that keeps me a little hesitant to jump on the "Punish Her" Wagon.
Emilie
Thanks for all the comments guys, we really appreciate it! It is awesome to see some new names popping up! I love that we have people checking in to see what we are up to. To Dear Em, yes Alex does help out around the house, he does his fair share of laundry, dusts etc.. I totally see/feel where you are coming from, so don't feel funny writing it! Ahh yes I did not manage to get all things house wise done by 8pm and yes I admit I asked it that included the washing, but technically the washing was done, just the folding remained. hmmmm I wonder if I could use that technicality???? But Alex did not mention that his Mom was here for over an hour and that I baked a loaf of banana bread between all that was done.. I'm sorry but I cant due work when someone is in my home, just my thing I want them to feel that I am paying attention to them. Anyways enough jabbering!
Hugs,
Allie
Well, when you take into consideration that a guest was over and a loaf of banana bread was made I think that we need to reconsider whether a spanking is due! She is right to not do work while a guest is over, especially when it's only for an hour...that would be rude. So, since the wash was done, a guest was over, bread was made, and the time wasn't extended an hour then I say no spanking is warranted! You worked hard, Allie!
Love,
Emilie
Thank Emilie!!
Let me tell you I admire you so very much for all you have going on! I couldn't imagine 4 kids, single Mom, college student, whew girl when do you have time to sleep!
Hugs,
Allie
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